Sunday, August 26, 2012

Life-Giving LeadHERship Tip: Letting Go

Simply put: letting go is one of the hardest things we do in life. Just this week I've had several friends experience some sort of letting-go. One friend sent her son to kindergarten, another sent her son to college, one friend buried her mom, and one friend lost his job. One question I am often asked is when is it time to let go of a friendship, and after many years of working with women both as a therapist and in women's ministry, here are a few guidelines that I typically follow:

  1. When a friend oversteps her boundaries after you have clearly articulated your needs and concerns.
  2. When you find yourself investing in the friendship more than the other person.
  3. If a friend engages in negative behaviors such as gossip or bashing her husband.
  4. Sometimes, after a wonderful season of friendship, a friendship comes to a close just because of the rhythm of life.
Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven."

I would love to hear your story of letting go.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

The Secret

I hung up the phone in amazement. During our phone conversation my friend shared that her husband lost his job that afternoon yet her last words to me before hanging up were, "Life is hard, but God is good." This wasn't just a phrase that she throws around easily. This woman really means it and lives it. She's endured chronic health and financial issues yet she is able to say with conviction and authenticity, "Life is hard, but God is good." She maintains joy when she could be angry, peace instead of strife, and hope instead of despair. But how? How does she manage to embrace life instead of curling up in a ball and watching it pass by?  The secret. She has learned the secret to life...just like Paul.  Phillippians 4:12-13 (NLT), "I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need." This is the secret to living.