Series: How to Have Life-Giving, Thriving Family Relationships

Life-Giving Family Relationships


     After 10 years as a therapist working with families, marriages, and individuals, I am convinced that creating a healthy family begins with a life-giving relational atmosphere. I define a life-giving relational atmosphere as a grace-filled, loving, affirming family environment filled with traditions and routines that create a rhythm to a child's life. Here is a great strategy to implement into your family's daily routine that will strengthen your bond with your child, creating a healthy relational atmosphere.
      The strategy is called floor time. I recommend starting this with your child as young as possible. Every day, for at least 30 minutes, enter into your child's world by getting down on the floor and playing. For example, our oldest son, Joseph, was obessessed with tractors. He knew every model of every tractor known to mankind - or at least it seemed that way! Each day, we would play with tractors, read books on tractors, and we took field trips to see tractors. 
     Your child may be interested in dinosaurs, dolls, certain books, trains, puzzles, or insects. It doesn't matter what it is, it just matters that you enter into their world by playing. The benefit of floor time is immense. The message it sends to your child is, I love you, you are important to me. Floor time is NOT the time to discipline or instruct your child. In fact, the more you invest time in your relationship with your child by doing this one simple strategy, the less likely your child will act out and misbehave. Be intentional. Take time. Invest in your child and enjoy loving family relationships!
    

Human Trafficking: Little but Fierce!

     Sitting perched on a high top stool in Starbucks, sat this petite powerhouse named AC Black. Her personality reminded me of the Shakespearean quote, “Though she be but little, she is fierce.” And fierce describes her to a tee. At 22, AC and her ministry partner, Jane Anderson, have founded the nonprofit, I AM MORE THAN.  Its purpose is to restore hope, freedom and faith to sexually abused and human trafficked teen girls in Kampala, Uganda.

       AC's mission is to restore worth back to girls and women broken by sexual assualt and/or human trafficking. Her world was rocked at the age of 15 when she made Jesus Christ her Lord and Savior. She began preaching at 16, bringing 50 high school girls to Christ.  After spending time in a school of ministry called 24/7, she learned all aspects of serving in the local church but her heart beat for something beyond the walls of a church…the land of Africa. And after a stint in Australia she found herself in Uganda where AIDS is rampant and orphans abound.  With her love for Uganda and her desire to see victims of sexual abuse rescued, I AM MORE THAN, was birthed. The nonprofit exists to provide a safe haven for girls ages 11-18 who have been rescued out of sex trafficking or have suffered from sexual abuse.  The girls can stay up to three years, receiving trauma counseling, mental health counseling and group counseling.  The nonprofit also exists to provide community education and awareness about the horrendous abuse Ugandan girls suffer at the hands of traffickers.

     If you want to receive more info on I AM MORE THAN or if you want to donate to this worthy cause, please contact AC at www.iammorethan.com.

Life-Giving LeadHERship: Stop Digging Your Own Well

A packed calendar with no margin left in my schedule, had become the norm more than the exception. Every time a new opportunity came my way, I was determined to "make it happen." Compelled to keep all my plates simultaneously spinning in the air, I over extended myself spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Every time a new project, opportunity or idea came my way, I would pick up my shovel and begin to dig - to make it happen. I needed a break. I had been digging my own wells too long. It's funny how I can analyze someone's else's life but when it comes to fixing my own, I can be a bit slow.

The apple klunked me on the head as I was reading Jeremiah 2:13: "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." I realized I was digging my own cisterns instead of following the Holy Spirit; letting Him lead me; letting Him make it happen.

Here's a few tips on how I stopped digging my own cisterns:

1. Daily, I surrender my ideas, projects and dreams before the Lord.
2. Daily, I ask Him to lead me and direct me to what He has for me....not what I want for myself.
3. Daily, I spend time worshipping and reading His Word.
4. I take a sabbath every Sunday. I stop everything and rest my body and my mind.

What about you? Are you digging your wells?

Life-Giving LeadHERship Tip - Quit It! Quit Stuffing Your Emotions!

    How does a life-giving woman manage her emotions? Does God even care about this area of a woman’s life? He absolutely cares about this area of your life. The Bible says that your finances and health will prosper as your soul prospers (3 John 1:2). Remember, that your soul is made up of your mind (thoughts), will, and emotions. So, if your soul is prospering than everything else will prosper too. The internal world of the soul impacts your external world. For example, if I am struggling with anger, anxiety or frustration, I am much more likely to yell at my kids, or be impatient with the store clerk. 

   As a therapist and women’s ministry leader, I know the importance of keeping your emotional world healthy. The key to managing your emotions is to acknowledge your real emotions. Many Christian women consider it a sin to feel emotions such as anger, sadness, disappointment, discouragement, and fear. Often, women will stuff these emotions for fear of being condemned because of their lack of faith.

   The problem with stuffing emotions is that depression, criticalness, and bitterness will surface and override life-giving joy and love. In order to keep your internal world healthy, it is imperative to have safe people in your life that you can openly and honestly share your feelings. You want to choose wise people who will not let you sit in your negative emotions but will spur you on and forward; people who will give you a hand out of your emotional pit, and not get down in the pit with you and have an emotional pity party.

My Loss is Dad's Gain

     My quiet, southern daddy passed away on November 2. With all of us around him, we witnessed his last breath. We witnessed the moment that he was ushered into His presence. Intimate, painful, profound, peaceful...so many words I could use to describe that exact moment. So, Christmas this year has taken on a deeper meaning for me. If it was just about Jesus' birth there would be nothing to celebrate BUT because it is about His birth AND resurrection, Christmas means everything. My dad was a Christ follower and because of this he is experiencing no more pain, no more suffering. He is experiencing the BEST Christimas he has ever had. I am saddened that he won't be with me this Christmas morning but I KNOW that my loss is definitely his gain...and this brings me much comfort and peace. May you know the comfort and peace that comes from knowing Jesus as your Lord and Savior. He changes everything!

Life-Giving LeadHERship Tip: Making Tough Decisions

Something caught my eye for the first time the other day. I was reading 1 Samuel where David and his men were in a cave taking refuge from Saul's army when Saul himself shows up in the cave. David's men automatically assumed that it was God's will for David to kill Saul. They based their argument on the following:

• Saul showed up in the very cave that David and his men were hiding.
• David had a perfect opportunity to kill his enemy and become King. After all, he was God's anointed king.

HOWEVER...David didn't listen to the "noise from the crowd." Instead he made his decision based on principle. He knew the consequences for killing God's anointed leader and chose to let Saul go.

Often as leaders, we have to make unpopular decisions. Perhaps everyone around us is saying to go in one direction but we don't have the peace that surpasses all understanding. At times like this, we need to quiet ourselves and listen for that still small voice and then we can move forward in faith.

Perhaps you are facing a difficult decision and everyone around is saying one thing - just like David's soldiers - but you are not sure. Take a break. Go to a quiet place. Spend time in prayer and connect with the Lord. Once you have peace, move forward in the direction that you believe God is leading you. Like David, live a life based on biblical principles and you will fulfill the plans God has for you!

Woman to Woman...: Those Precious Minutes

Enjoy this beautiful post by writer and women's ministry leader, Mary Reed. Woman to Woman...: Those Precious Minutes